Clean slate

To start over, to have a clean slate, such simple concepts but in reality are much more difficult to employ. My life for the past few months has been for a lack of a better word gray. The ups and downs of my past relationship have fell to the waste side. There were moments were I have never felt weaker and moments that I have never felt stronger. My heart is still wounded, I can feel it, but I am healing; patching up the tears and sealing the cracks till it once again works properly. Now I wait. I wait and pick up my life little by little everyday. I have reached equilibrium of blah, nothing good nothing bad but at least there is something there. I am not really sure what that means. I don’t know where my life is going and that scares me. I am someone who lives in rigidity. Schedules and plans are comforting to me yet now I have to go on without one. Embracing the now.