I guess

So most of the time that I write on this blog its because I am depressed and sad and right now I am feeling all those things. I don't know if I will feel better anytime soon, all I can do is sit and wait. Recently I have had some trouble in my life, I guess you can say it centers around me actually saying what I want... So I thought I would just say it. Everything that I can think of. For as long as I can remember. Here it goes..
I want...

A husband
A dog
A love that can conquer any distance
Someone to bring me flowers when I don't feel good or just to make me feel special
For someone to make me dinner
A full body massage
Life Long friends
A career
To travel
To be thought of
To know I am being thought of
To be considered
To be taken care of when I am sick
To be held
To be whispered all the things someone loves about me
To travel
To go on an adventure
To make a name for myself
To be caressed
To be covered in butterfly kisses
To be proposed to
To have a house
To hold hands in public
To have a family
To be kissed in public
To fall asleep on the couch or where ever and be carried and put to bed
To be told "I love you" every night
To have a body worth showing
Someone to hold me when I cry
To make love
To feel weak in the knees
To lose control
To sleep deeply
To never be angry
To trust
To let go
To love
To learn
To have a job
To get in to medical school
To know what I think and feel matters not just to me
To see a result
To have my efforts recognized
To get what I want...
To give someone else what they want
To have money
To conquer a fear
To eat healthier
To be told "I love you" or "your beautiful" for no reason
To take a leap of faith
To be married
To grow old with 'him'
To know I am secure
To not have to worry
To not worry
To not be so guilty
To never be lied to
To be told the truth
To be able to take criticism
To know someone is proud of me
To know 'he' is proud of me
To be appreciated
To be understood
To be accepted
To wake up next to 'him'
To never fear breaking up
To never hear the words "I don't love you anymore" again
To be talked to
To not having to start a conversation
To allow my self to be loved
To do the right thing
To do what someone wants
To not to assume so often
Someone to assume what I want
Someone to do things for me. Little things. Like getting me a glass of water without me having to ask
To curl next to a warm fire
To share a Kiss in the snow
To be together during a storm
To be given something for no reason besides love
To sleep peacefully with 'him'
To learn many languages
To not be so hostile
To not be so mean
To not have such high expectations
To have a lot of photos together
To do things together
To know you mean what you say
To not be misconceived
To not be told what to do
To accept
To take blame

I am sure I have more, but alas...